Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
