you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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