I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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