i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
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