where am i from again
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
