she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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