The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
