i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize