We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
