Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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