I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
