just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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