went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
