the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
is wine microwaveable?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
