My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I licked your asshole in confidence.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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