I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
You're a waste of cheezeits
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
