Got a toothbrush?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
