It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
thus making me awesome and them whores
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Randomize
