So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize
