Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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