I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I lost the right to judge tonight
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Congratulations! We have a period
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