Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
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