I feel like I'm in dance class right now
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
