He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Randomize
