...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
