I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
