i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
