How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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