I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
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