Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
my mouth tastes like poor choices
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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