Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Randomize
