He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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