did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
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