I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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