my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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