Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
