i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize