Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
