question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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