Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
