last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
