I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
