I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
