i don't like sucking hair
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
