their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
