I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
