Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Randomize
