I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
