he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
