does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
