You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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