How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize
