He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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