yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
