why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
