So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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