And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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