mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Randomize
