Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Randomize
